From Slashdot | Study Shows Males Commonly Mistake Sexual Intent
Re:wrong (Score:4, Interesting)
by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 30, @01:34PM (#22913214)
I think you underestimate the subtlety of your signals. If someone brushes against me, I usually assume it was accidental and say, “excuse me.” Smiles are useless; too many possible meanings. Like I have this ridiculous beard (its a “work in progress”), so lots of people smile when they look at me. (Some even point and laugh. Children are scared. But I digress ;)
Whispering something in my ear is a pretty good one, depending on what you say. “Hey, wanna go make out?” would certainly get my attention, and I probably wouldn’t misinterpret it. Though for clarification I might respond, “Maybe. Who with?” ;)
Blatant is certainly better. No chick has every gotten me by being subtle. I’m way too clueless for that. I don’t think it has so much to do with a lack of confidence, but rather a lack of socialization. I spent way too much of my adolescence in front of a computer screen instead of outside flirting with girls. Now 20 years later, I barely talk to people. I have the confidence to walk up and introduce myself; I just don’t know how to have conversations. For me everything boils down to problem solving, so if someone asks me a question my answers tend toward closure. My “goal” is to solve the conversation (ie. find its ending).
I suppose I could just change my goal to trying to see how long I can just keep talking on and on about nothing. You know, like women. ;)
(clearly I’m missing something.)
Re:wrong (Score:5, Funny)
by nizo (81281) * on Sunday March 30, @10:32AM (#22911666)
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See here is the problem: women give ambiguous signals, while men don’t. But wait: men are the ones with the problem. For those of us men who are married, is this starting to sound at all familiar???
Subconscious flirting (Score:5, Insightful)
by Lorien_the_first_one (1178397) on Sunday March 30, @09:37AM (#22911340)
But consider this:
Women will often flirt with a man just for attention. I’ve met women who simply didn’t even know what they were doing was interpreted as flirting. And when I confronted them with this observation, they gave this crazymaking attitude like “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I was just being friendly.” Yeah, right.
Philipino women are a great example of behavior that can easily be mistaken for flirting. I’ve never been more confounded by any other culture. The world “no” just isn’t in their immediate vocabulary.
Women from American culture can flirt just out of anger. Anyone remember that song, “I know What Boys Like” [youtube.com] by the Waitresses? That song spelled it out loud and clear.Women were tired of feeling as if they were being oppressed by men. So they used their power against the men.
Those are just two of the reasons that I’ve found for the confusion on the part of the women. I know why I’ve been confused before: I was single. Now that I’m married, that confusion is pretty much gone. I know where I stand with my wife.
It takes two to tango. It’s not just that men have blurry vision. Women have fuzzy behavior, too.
Concious lying. (Score:4, Interesting)
by Scrameustache (459504) on Sunday March 30, @12:52PM (#22912866)
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Women will often flirt with a man just for attention.
Very, very true. There’s a girl I know, very pretty, very flirty. If you give her enough attention, she’ll eventually start mentioning her boyfriend. I asked her about it, she says if people know she has a boyfriend right away they don’t come over and talk as much. She does it on purpose, and takes offense at the suggestion that this isn’t right.
I’ve met women who simply didn’t even know what they were doing was interpreted as flirting.
Afraid not. You’ve actually met women who were really good actresses.
And when I confronted them with this observation, they gave this crazymaking attitude like “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I was just being friendly.” Yeah, right.
Yeah right indeed. I’ve had “that wasn’t flirting!” applied to telling me to come closer, feeding me something with her hand and softly brushing my lip with her finger… the denial came AFTER that led to some good, sweaty fun. Apparently, she never made any signals (yeah right), it was all me (sure), and the soft caress on my lip was nothing but innocent accidental contact (do I look that gullible?).
Re:Or, on the other hand… (Score:5, Interesting)
by mcvos (645701) on Sunday March 30, @06:53AM (#22910626)
An interesting follow up would be to look at men and womens abilities to communicate their emotional states to others of the same sex, and also broaden the range of “intents” studied towards the opposite sex.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. If men understand the sexual intentions of other men, and women don’t understand the sexual intentions of other women, then it’s clearly the women who don’t communicate clearly. If women understand each other but men don’t, then it’s men who are obvlivious. If men understand each other and women understand each other, but men don’t understand women and vice versa, then it’s the “women from Venus, men from Mars” thing”. And if everybody has trouble understanding other people’s sexual intentions, then people in general are unclear or oblivious about sexual intentions.
It’s that men from Mars, women from Venus thingy.
That depends on the findings of the follow-up study.