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A room (Score:5, Funny)
by droopus (33472) * on Saturday August 13, @12:50AM (#13303877)

Every notice this? When you’re young, you have…a room. It’s yours and you can do pretty much what you want with it. The rest of the house is mom’s plastic covered Xanadu. You hate it.

Then you go to college and get…a dorm room. Yay? Nope, worse. It’s your room, and away from mom’s Xanadu but some guy who snores, pops his zits on your mirror, listens to Grateful Dead incessantly, wanks loudly three times a day to Maxim and has extremely flatulent dreams lives with you. Oh wonderful. Get me out of here. . So you get….

…an off campus apartment/house. Woo hoo! You are back to having….a room, but outside, instead of a plastic covered Xanadu, you have 5 others people seeing whose pizza can grow the most mold, the sink looks like a swamp that has really let itself go, and the fridge looks like something from The Fly. Every foodstuff (and I use that term in its broadest possible sense) has a name written on it, and there are constant “you stole my last onion, you fucking twit!!” arguments. One one side of your room lives a really bad drummer, and on the other side, the local would-be studmuffin who brings home drunken screamers every night that look like Nick Nolte’s mug shot [thesmokinggun.com] in the morning.

You graduate, start bringing home some cash, and get…your own apartment! WAAAHOOO! An enormous 3 room shithole with more empty beer bottles than the recycling plant but its YOURS. The only clean things are your TV and monitor screens. But who cares! You can stuff everything in a closet when you bring a babe back to “your place.” You may not think so, but this is the best it gets.

Then she moves in.

You get a bigger apartment, and she keeps it a little cleaner. You start to get concerned, but you get married anyway, and eventually buy…

A HOUSE! Oh baby this is great! Look at all this space! Wife begins to ask you to use coasters and keep coffee table free of beer and pr0n. You have to spend $400 on a lawn mower. You have to buy lightbulbs? Um…

You have a few kids. You get a bigger house (and a riding mower w/cup holder.) You spend more time at Home Depot than CompUSA. This can’t be good. Put so much as a cold Coke on the sideboard and Mrs Geek is there with the sponge and coaster. So one night she suggests…

“Dear, why don’t you make the den…”your room?” Then you can do anything you want in there and I can begin covering everything in plastic.”

So, you end up in….a room. Except now you have to pay for it, and the plastic covered Xanadu that surrounds it.

Aspirations. Fooey. (And yes, I’m sitting in “my room” in a 4,000 sq ft house.)

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 14th, 2005 at 4:32 pm and is filed under Scrapbook. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.