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From Slashdot | Breaking Gender Cliques at Work?

Jane Goodall knows the answer to this. (Score:3, Interesting)
by radux (776711) on Thursday August 31, @05:23PM (#16019375)
(http://www.radux.com/)

I become a stay at home dad and am now surrounded by mom’s everywhere I go. I find that “Jane Goodall” is the ultimate source of how to break into a clique

1. If they are interacting in a group, stay away, they will be more worried about their social status then you.
2. Be patient, they might be waiting to see if you are a threat. Let them get comfortable with your presence.
3. Your in *their* turf, so let them start the interaction. More often then not they will, if you make no sudden movements. They are as curious about you as you are about them.

How to bring new people into your group? (Score:3, Interesting)
by Pinback (80041) on Friday September 01, @01:00AM (#16021932)
(http://web.mac.com/r…/Site/Blog/Blog.html | Last Journal: Monday August 14, @01:15PM)

1) Have something good, mildy interesting, and not controversial to say about each of the members of your group. “This is Brian, he has two young children, his hobby is sailing; he is our manager.” “This is Steve. He is an accomplished latin-guitar player, and is the senior admin on our team.” “This is Joy. She is an avid hiker, recently adopted a Welsh Corgi, and is in desktop support.” This kind of banter leaves the new person some clues of what they can talk about in later conversations.

2) Educate youself on the shit-stupid phrases our language is mined with. Use “guidelines” intead of “rules of thumb”, etc. Read a bit about languages, cultures and the like. People are much less uncomfortable when you have a rough idea where they are coming form.

3) Preconceptions about poeple are usually wrong, and are often less interesting than reality. You’re better off without them.

4) If things went well, say something. “You did an excellent job on this.” “We have a great team.” “You rock.” etc.

5) In my experience, there are still appropriate times and ways to say: “I like your dress.” or “Those shoes are cool.” or “I like your new haircut.” or “You look sharp in that suit.” If you’re genuine, people will know you’re not being a prick.

6) Misery loves company. If you happen to get an IT-gal in your group, keep the door open for a second. People play off of each others strengths, and people who are less isolated do better. This isn’t survivor, you won’t end up with an axis of evil or anything.

7) Help people outside of the old boys network. Doing so will make you flexible, build personal networks, and make for a strong position. And when unimaginative managers go looking for poeple to sack, you won’t fit an easy category. If you do get sacked, you’ll be in better shape to work a diverse customer base as a contractor.

8) Don’t be afraid to work with a hottie. In a week you’ll know at least one thing you hate about them, and then they won’t intimidate you anymore. Besides, if they’re on your side of the table, the people on the other side will be distracted and easier to maneuver.

9) If you don’t know the gender of a name, ask a third party ahead of time.

10) Don’t make assumptions about wanting, having, being able to have, or liking children. Not everyone wants to, is, is able to be, or likes being a breeder.

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