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From Slashdot – Valentine’s Plans?…

Wake up, man! (Score:5, Interesting)
by schon (31600) on Friday February 13, @03:30PM (#8273269)
(http://slashdot.org/)

I think the worst thing about Valentines Day are the questions from female coworkers.

“What are you getting your SO for Valentines Day?”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Are you gay?”

No, that’s not the worst thing. I hope you’re sitting down when you read this, because when I tell you what the worst thing is, you’re gonna cry. Seriously.

Are you ready?

The worst thing is that you don’t realize that when a woman asks you things like this, it’s because she’s flirting with you.

The first question is a casual attempt to enter your world – they’re casually asking about your love life, in an attempt to let you know they’re interested in you, and to find out if you’re single.

The second question is a direct approach to you – they’re being ‘bold’ because they figure you are too shy to pick up their hints from the first question.

The third question is an attempt to reconcile in their minds why you’re not reciprocating their advances – they’ve established that you’re single, and that you’re not interested in them, so they’re wondering if they’re wasting their time.

Can’t they see I am an ugly-socially-retarded geek?

First, beauty is in the eye of the beholder – maybe you’re not as ugly as you think you are (from experience – until I was 23 or so, I thought I was ugly – I had no idea that most women considered me very attractive.)

Second, they probably see that you’re socially retarded, and that’s why they’re being so ‘open’ about the flirting (yes, I know – to you, it doesn’t seem ‘open’ – but to them, it’s the equivalent of hitting you over the head with a brick – they’re probably wondering why you don’t pick up on it.)

if I were the last man on earth I still couldn’t get a date

Bullshit. A woman may have said it, but that’s just the opinion of one person. But don’t just take my word for it – you have proof from women that deal with you at work:

If you were truly unwantable, women wouldn’t assume you had a girlfriend, and wouldn’t ask you about her. Think about it – the first two questions mean that whoever asks you this automatically nullify the statement that you couldn’t get a date.

Now on to the good news: If you want to change, you may be surprised to learn that social skills, just like any other skills can be learned, and they can be learned by you. They’re really quite simple, and most of them just involve paying attention to your surroundings. Contrary to a lot of ’sour grapes’ cynics, learning to relate to members of the opposite sex does won’t change who you are – you’ll still be you, and you’ll still be good at everything you do, you just have additional skills to use (when you learn one language, you don’t automatically forget others, do you?)

Most cities have ’singles clubs’ which offer classes in socializing, but if you have female friends, you can get it for free – just confide in them, and ask for help.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 14th, 2004 at 7:54 pm and is filed under Scrapbook. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.